Imtiyaz Assad

father-son-walking-field

Incontestably, the craving of every father is to see his children living a hassle-free and unperturbed life. He is overtaken by anguish, when their life is uncomfortable and woe-ridden. And jubilation drapes him, when their standard of living is up to the mark.

So, I am not hurt, by your remarks. As, I could not live up to your hope. But Papa, I too have multitude of problems, which thwarted my plans.

Please, listen patiently:

To begin with, I am not endowed with caliber, which is inevitably required for doing this Herculean task. On a regular basis, I do buy news dailies only to escape boredom.

Unfortunately, you have been cherishing a flawed notion: that I am grinding for prestigious exam. As you think, that cracking such a hard nut calls for a cursory reading. And that too for a short span.

I have not read a bit, in relation to subjects, I should pick. Certainly, not out of choice. Thanks to low patience threshold!

Devoid of material, how can I gather courage to give a try in this exam? Nevertheless, you promised to sell the sizeable portion of our (meagre) land, and arrange the material mandatory for it. But I flatly spurned your proposal, because, I was aware of my shortcomings.

And devastating effects it will have on our family!

You know Papa, occasionally I would long for achieving this feat. But considering my dull intellect, every time, the structure of the dream would get crashed to ground in a flash. Bodily diseases together with psychological illness also played their noxious role in halting my march: nevertheless, at a snail’s pace, it was!

Multitude of times, I made up my mind to delve deep in the depth of books having a bearing on that exam. But every time, uneasiness engulfed me. And with the result, I had to thrust my plan aside to get rid of torment it would engender in me.

I am fully attuned to the cries and sighs that spring from your mouth, while you are cheerlessly absorbed in the daily grind. But it is beyond my power to pull you out of this quagmire. As I, too, am helpless in lot of ways. Otherwise, why should have I neglected your desire, and kept you glued to manual labour.

Papa, you know that strength of my memory is depleting with each passing day. And I fail to remember even washing my face at the crack of dawn. You also know that I consume medicines following every lunch, only after receiving innumerable reminders from my mother.

You are fully aware of the predicaments that have encircled me. Yet, why do you have such a colossal expectation from me? I can very well figure out the factor that makes you insist on my taking part in that exam. But as told earlier, I do not belong to breed of intelligent boys, who can claim to emerge victorious in this arena.

As I only pretend to a boy of abundant knowledge, and fabulous calibre. But what I am, is only, known to me!

Pardon me…It is no fault of mine…Grimaces of fate…

Your son

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