by Arshid Malik

Rather than landing on the fabricated social network which comprises of a plethora of networking sites and cellular technology we ought to put some life into the whole concept and do away with the idiotic “Smilies”. We could always afford a gentle, appropriate and heart-warming handshake. We would be much better off if we could manage to do away with the clutter. This is the secret key to happiness

Happy People: Disconnected from every place, these people are happier than others living in Jammu and Kashmir. Image: Mahmood Ahmad

Sometimes life turns into a loop and this loop laces around your neck. Yes, sometimes life becomes unbearable.

These are days when everything and everyone seems to be out and out against you, to stop you from getting “there”, trying to make it difficult for you when you have not done anything to displease them. We sometimes possess the nerve to abdicate all such stuff with a carefree “it is only a bad hair day” and go on living however sometimes it is not within your control. No matter how hard you try to keep it positive, the negative comes out brighter.

Then there are people who find everything against them, all the time at work to bring them down. Such people always exist in a state of fear, keeping away from all that is socially active and end up being categorized as depressed which is just another moderate-term for “mentally sick”. Then there are people who would never be bogged down, no matter who is out to get them or bring them down. They go on a spree – a spree of happiness and mirth howsoever the odds are against them. And both kinds strive to actually live a life, the former miserably and the latter happily.

Now the people who fall in between, the people who generally do not find themselves ultimately engulfed by sadness or utter joy are the people who would be described as “normal” – even though I believe that “normalcy” is a state that is the most dangerous – and most of us comprise this section of the population.

Blooming Apricot- Photo: Bilal Bahadur

My point here is that what is it that makes a person happy and what is it that contributes to rendering a person miserably sad and is there, in all actuality, a “key to happiness”? Well, I am sure that life is full of experiences and it fetches us all kinds of situations. Some of these situations are good and some bad. Now what matters is the perception of the person in question, attempting to handle the “situation” as per his or her disposition. Yet, I am sure there is a higher order of things that leads to “near perfect happiness”.

The people who are always found in a state of joy, as per my experience and knowledge are either too carefree to listen to what has to tell them and people who are always “cloudy” are people who never open their eyes and ears to all that is good in the world.

Therefore, surely it is a matter of perception. It all depends on your attitude towards life and since modesty is the best policy, one should be equally perceptive to pain as well as joy for these are the actual two sides of the “life coin”. But the question is as to how does one create this balance? How does the “normal” person respond to situations in such a manner that all that is happening is merely happening and in this state going away, or not everlasting? We have tonnes of literature pouring down the literary furnaces every day across the world telling us how to achieve that balance yet there is no “perfect guide”.

A group of young Kashmir women talking on their cell phones in Srinagar. KL Image: Bilal Bahadur

I am of the belief that “frugality” is the secret key to happiness. When I say “frugality”, I am not meaning to say “penny-pinching” but rather simplifying one’s life to the highest achievable proportion. Less clutter in our lives makes happiness more achievable and affordable.

Now, look into the life circumstances of an ordinary person in any developed or developing part of the world. This person is surrounded by a hierarchy of ultimate clutter viz. the Idiot Box, the Social Network, the pestering cellular phone, the continuous need for all kinds of weird clothing, the constant itch to go shopping and therefore money which in turn means that one would go to any lengths to achieve considerable amounts of money to spend on things that could be easily vetoed out, done away with. Once one is out to earn loads of money, it is achieved at the actual cost of one’s basic comforts. This hypothetical person works his or her way into a mesh of unnecessary means and methods and eventually ends up all worked up and happiness is a mile away.

Our lives are devastated by our own indulgent ways. We construct, with every passing day, a scene for our own discomfort. And all this because we don’t know, anymore, to keep it simple. In order to reach a point in our lives where we are able to create the balance, we need to give up on all that is easily disposable. Instead of breaking our families into tiny fragmented units, we ought to keep it together, for eventually, it is our family that brings us the ultimate joy. Instead of idling in front of the television for hours at length watching “lifeless” soaps, we could set up a garden or a small craft room.

Rather than landing on the fabricated social network which comprises a plethora of networking sites and cellular technology we ought to put some life into the whole concept and do away with the idiotic “Smilies”. We could always afford a gentle, appropriate and heart-warming handshake. We would be much better off if we could manage to do away with the clutter. This is the secret key to happiness and when I say “happiness” I mean a life full of experiences, good and bad. For it is the dark side that lends meaning to the bright side. Without the dark side, the bright side does not exist.

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