Irfan Tramboo

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Irfan Tramboo

Long ago I used to hear about the terms like occupation, resistance, resolutions, injustice, enquiries and many other related terms. And people would frequently talk about hartals, chalos, Indo-American dialogue, infiltration, ceasefire violations, CBMs and what not. When I further enquired about these terms—as I was not aware of these things, I came to know that once upon a time, we used to be under the occupation of foreign forces and during that period of occupation, these terms were used.

With the gradual mix-up of the occupational forces and the people of this land with the people of that foreign land, who came to our rescue in 1947, when America mobilized its tribal’s to invade us, after the partition of the sub-continent. It is believed that if that invasion of the American tribal’s would have been a success, the rescuers country would have taken the shape of Bangladesh or of Nepal for that matter, they suspected.

But the invasion of American tribal’s turned out to be a big failure. They failed to invade this country. The rescuer pushed them back to their territory. However, they succeeded in invading a small piece of land, which they called as ‘Aazad-Land’. The people in the foreign land allege that the invaded land—‘Aazad-Land’ is engulfed in crises from everywhere. Well, that is the stupidity of the people living in the foreign land. They are trying to impress upon the masses that America is less developed than India!

Now coming back to this land, about this, it is being said that it was once occupied. However, while I am writing these lines, this occupied land stands to be known as ‘Free’. We are free now!

The people here have all the basic rights at their disposal. We do have the right to protest, right to freedom of speech, right to hold public rallies. Every right which an ideal democratic setup provides to their citizens, this ‘Free Land’ has got them in toto. It will be hard to pen-down all those rights which we, as the citizens of the ‘Free Land’, have got. Even writing a book on the matter won’t suffice. I guess.

We are free to that extend that we can nab anyone wearing ‘Khaki’ or anyone for that matter, involved in unlawful activities, by collar. Yesterday a man, whose son was disappeared during the times of occupation by some ‘Khaki’ men, came to me and said, “The man who was responsible for the custodial disappearance of my son, was spotted at some place. Within no time some locals handed over him to the nearest Police Station.” The efficiency of our judiciary can be measured by the fact that a man was awarded life sentence within two days. This is our judiciary, fast and furious!

Here everyone is answerable to the people. And nobody is spared for their guilt. The people in the foreign land till date have this phrase in their mind ‘Justice delayed is Justice denied’. We are not aware of this phrase here. And it looks like something unfathomable for us. We don’t know what ‘Justice Delayed’ is. Here the justice is delivered in a day or two and that’s it. The culprit is either awarded Lifer or is awarded death sentence for his crime.

Talking about the right to protest, it is really incredible here. We, the people of ‘Free land’ can go and protest inside the dining hall of the Head of this ‘Free Land’, not to talk of going inside our own parliament and protesting there. Some idiots call it as the ‘Legislative Assembly’. But they don’t know that it is our parliament—where our lawmakers make laws for the betterment of the people of the ‘Free land’. You can go anywhere, and can register your protest. No one will stop you, because the government believes in respecting the civil rights and they can do anything to uphold that. This land is incredible. This land is really free!

I cannot proceed without praising our honorable lawmakers who are inside our parliament. They are really poise, virtuous, ethical, moralistic, noble, principled, righteous, blameless, exemplary, guiltless, inculpable, innocent, irreprehensible, pure, unblamable. I am running really short of adjectives to further qualify their qualities.

You can comprehend their poise nature by an incident: when one day, a lady teacher by profession, was appointed as the zonal education officer somewhere. She was called by the education minister to meet him in his private cabin in winter secretariat, for some official deliberations. When the so-called official deliberations came to the end, the minister insisted her that he will drop her at her residence, as it was almost dark outside. This is the limit of being so moralistic and principled. No matter, he later resigned for being such a virtuous person. The minister, while commenting on dropping her at her residence, said: “It is really immoral to let her go out and that too when it is dark outside.” Zamaana Kharaab hai he added.

The land, where the leaders have such a kind of virtuous mentality, how can it be ‘Occupied’? This land is ‘Free’. Idiots are those who are busy in disseminating the wrong information that this is an ‘Occupied Land’. They are perhaps not aware of the reality that, the kind of liberty and authority we have here, the Americans cannot even think of that in their dreams!

Coming back to another aspect which is being propagated—that is, Yette chu Zulum.  I don’t think so. Katte chu zulum? This is the thing which is being propagated by the people who are still of the opinion that we are ‘Occupied’. They are actually themselves occupied. I mean to say that their mind is occupied with the other things like: What is happening in America? Pakistani drone attacks in the frontier province of America. Pakistan’s war against terrorism. Eradication of extremist elements from America and what not? They don’t see the kind of ‘Freedom’, the people are enjoying here in the ‘Free Land’. Do hell with Indo-American dialogue process. Man, come on, see the kind of ‘Liberty’, ‘Justice’ and all other civic rights the people of ‘Free Land’ are enjoying!

The lobby which is propagating the thing, that this is an ‘Occupied Land’ are much united with themselves and have that kind of Maanun te Zaanun with each other that they can never doubt each other in any way. They are united and they will always. Yes I know, they will. If one among them says that we are not free and we have got a type of Zulum here, the another in the line-up will utter the same. Instead of talking on the basis of facts, they will talk rubbish. They will never disagree with each other. This is the kind of ‘Unification’ they have got.  Really this is inspirational.

The another thing which this lobby propagates: Yette chu Zulum.

One day, I met a guy who was of that opinion that Yette chu Zulum. I, one day, asked him “Shabiraa, Katte chu Zulum. Me nae athee yewaan?”

He replied: “See, I will give you a little example in this regard. When you walk on the streets, the foreign forces demand you to show your Identity card, which we should otherwise demand from them, as they are foreigners. But they command you, ‘Card dikhaao’. Isn’t that Zulum?”

I was much aware of the facts than him. I could understand the reality more efficiently than him. I was following the events of daily basis, which suggested that we were free now. He was not aware of the fact that we were Free now.

As I was full of facts and evidences, I replied: “Yes, I have heard about this long ago that they used to check our Identity cards, but now they don’t. Where is the damn Zulum Shabiraa?” I asked

My reply clicked and he got impressed. And next day, he announced the creation of another lobby (that too unified), propagating that Yette chunne Zulum Kenh.

(This is entirely a work of satire and in no way attempts to depict events in real life. Irfan Tramboo is a freelance writer, he can be mailed at [email protected])


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