Carrying it around

Arshid Malik

For a long time now I have been planning to hit the healthy streak. I have planned and plotted my timings and routes several hundred thousand times for working out but have never ever stuck to any of these plans. I don’t understand as to why I am not able to do what I want to do as concerns my health. One of the reasons I am given to understand is that I am lazy, a reason that my wife believes is one great fault I have written all over my face.

Every morning when I get up, with great effort that is, I look out the window and see people thronging the streets and parks of the city, some jogging and others walking. There are young and old, men and women, fat and slim out for their morning dose of physical exercise. I never like the sight of it and never imagine myself out there amongst them on early mornings. I retire from the window and slip unto the couch for a morning fill of television followed by a quick jump under the shower, brushing my teeth and thereafter a good, heavy oily and lustrous breakfast. I love this life and the very flavour of it despite the fact that as soon as my breakfast ends a pill popping session begins. I take quite a handful of medicines to kick start my drowsy day.

Am I wrong under my convictions that I ought to be lazy about my health? Why is it necessary that I should burn my fat off when I can slip into my recliner? Well, I guess I have proven my point for myself here. I am not health conscious at all and not at all sporty. I am a lump on this planet which is thriving to go extinct very soon. I am what I should not be. I am a disgrace unto myself. And all this has to change and that very soon. I have to change otherwise I am going extinct. I whisper this to myself everyday but nothing changes. I follow my usual routines and just do that, follow them. My hypertension levels are high my triglycerides are a jump over a roar. I am a living “disease”. But that again does not change anything.

What does it take for an unhealthy fatso to hit the road? I am a strong willed person and believe in the potentiality of mind over matter but when it comes to following healthy regimens I am distraught.

Outside my office there is a park and every evening at around 5 PM an overweight gentleman arrives into this park and starts walking. I usually leave by 6:30 in the evening and he is still at it, burning his fat off. This man makes me jealous. How can he collect the wit and whimper to work out for hours together, I ask myself.

I am a chain smoker and that makes things worse. Every cigarette I light I shorten my life. And that sort of keeps me running, with the zeal to light another one.

I am on slippery slope and I don’t care. I am a fool and I just love the thought of that. I have colleagues and friends and relatives and acquaintances who roam around me every day and they eat like they are competing for a beauty pageant. No butter, no milk and sugar in their tea and coffee, no clarified butter on their naans and dishes, no fast food which means no pizzas and burgers, no red meat and no cheese. I could never imagine life without these delicacies that dress up your every day and add that zing to eating. I am a half glutton and I love being just that.

All said and done I want to change. I want to regain my health. I want to be slim again. I want to run like a gazelle. I want to be full of sprint and spring. But how do I do that?

Perhaps, when I expire I will follow my routines but that won’t change anything and all of it will be effort less for I won’t have a weight to carry around. I will be long gone before I attach some value to healthy living.    


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