by Babra Wani
SRINAGAR: The usual tense mood of the courtroom, had changed this weekend when Srinagar’s Family Court decided to hold a workshop, primarily focused on children. The courtroom was adorned with balloons and toys and gifts for children, breaking the stereotypical image of the Court, where often tough battles are fought and heart-breaking decisions are made.
The workshop, Emotional Burden of Parental Discord was entirely focused on how broken families, disputed families and separated families impact children.
Despite the organisers trying the break the routine, the courtroom still got the routine loud cries and wails, when the children from broken families took up the central stage and began to express their emotions and feelings. The children spoke out loud about how their parents’ separation has affected their psyche.
“I sometimes wonder why was I born,” said one small child while talking about his family, split apart by a divorce. “I pray to Allah that he should take my life away,” the child barely managed to complete his sentence, as he began to cry and so did the listeners, “I am waiting for death.”
Another child who was barely 10 years old stated how she had never seen her paternal family, “I was still in my mother’s womb when my parents separated. I do not know how paternal grandparents’ love feels.”
Another child speaker broke hearts when she said that she had not been able to meet her brother for the past eleven years because of their parent’s divorce, “I miss him. I would request people to not separate, to not take divorces as children like me bear the brunt and it is difficult to be from a broken family.”
As the children spoke the participants comprising families, lawyers and other staff members of the court started to break down, the grim reality hit them hard.
Though the mood of the room was pleasing to children, the statements of these children broke the hearts of many, changing the mood of the room again.
Some of the participants were people who had been fighting their custody battles for years, others had other familial disputes, and all of them had broken families in one way or the other.
Masarat Roohi, Principal Judge of Family Court, along with Principal District and Sessions Judge District Court Srinagar Jawad Ahmed, presided over the event which was moderated by Dr Tabassum, counsellor at the Family Court.
The event was attended by almost a hundred people. “Anything in the world should not affect children. The family disputes ruin these children,” Advocate Suhaila who was also the guest speaker at the event stated. “Most of the children who we see in Juvenile homes or who are involved in drugs are from broken families. This event today should be an eye-opener for the families that this is high time to stop. I request everyone to go easy on children, don’t make suffer them like this. All the matters should be solved in privacy as they have repercussions on these young children. Their education suffers, they suffer physically, mentally and emotionally. Children should not be subjected to such sufferings.”
She also asserted that parents should not fight or assassinate each other’s characters in front of children, “It leaves a deep impact on them. Nobody thinks about these children from broken families.”
Suhaila’s emotional speech was followed by a skit which showcased a broken family. The performers in the skit were both children and adults and the skit showed the conflict between parents, impact on the child, compromises and helplessness of the father of the daughter.
The skit was to present a message that familial conflicts often leave people broken both emotionally and mentally.
“Children are always the victims and ultimate sufferers of parental conflicts,” Jawad Ahmed stated while making the concluding speech. Appreciating the Family Court’s efforts he stated, “Madam Masarat Roohi is doing a good job by conducting this workshop. More such workshops should take place in future as it will send a message to the masses.”
“Parents should understand that children should not suffer under any condition,” he stated, “Family courts are for these matters only. And parents should think about a brighter future for their parents.”
He further stated that families should amicably resolve their matters without involving children.
Family discord crushes the innocence of children, Masarat Roohi stated, “We want to give a message to people that family discords often trample children, which can result in several problems in the children.”
The education, the mental state, the physical state of children gets affected, she said, “All the children who were present today are from the families whose cases are being tackled here in court. The basic purpose was to send a message to these parents that their conflicts are tormenting their children.”
“There are cases where siblings are separated because of the separation of parents, and it pains me to see because ultimately the sufferer is the child. They do not get to experience a normal childhood,” she said, “It is important to understand that children should not go through any of this. Why do they come to court to attend hearings? They are children, they should not suffer.”
The two-hour workshop concluded as certificates and gifts were distributed amongst the participants. After which the court resorted to its normal proceedings.
The workshop, however, left the participants with a lot of questions, one of which was, “Why do children suffer?”
