by Falak Riyaz
It is perpetuated by power imbalances, stereotypes, discriminatory norms, and the process of socialisation, which reinforces these behaviours and attitudes over time. Socialisation plays a pivotal role in shaping perspectives.
Gender-based violence (GBV) is a pervasive issue that affects millions of individuals worldwide, transcending age, gender, and socio-economic boundaries. When the term “violence” is invoked, the mind often conjures an image of a man as the perpetrator and a woman as the victim or survivor. Yet, this raises a pressing question: is GBV confined solely to physical harm? The answer is unequivocally no. GBV encompasses a spectrum of abuses and discriminations that inflict emotional, psychological, sexual, social, and economic harm.
Beyond physical violence, it manifests in verbal abuse, relentless insults, coercion, manipulation, sexual harassment, financial control, denial of resources, and the systematic erosion of self-esteem and confidence. These forms of violence, though often invisible, leave individuals’ sense of worth and dignity in ruins.
The roots of GBV frequently lie within the family unit, where unequal treatment and gender stereotypes are first sown. This brings us to another fundamental question: what is gender? The terms “gender” and “sex” are often used interchangeably, yet they are distinct. Gender refers to the roles, behaviours, activities, expectations, and societal norms that a culture deems appropriate for individuals based on their perceived identity as male, female, or non-binary. Sex, on the other hand, pertains to biological and physical differences, such as chromosomes, hormones, and reproductive anatomy.
Unlike biological attributes, gender is a social and cultural construct, shaped by traditions, customs, and beliefs. It profoundly influences how individuals perceive themselves and navigate the world around them.
Gender-based violence does not always begin with overt acts of harm; it often originates in the subtle, everyday practices and biases entrenched within the family. These seemingly innocuous acts of discrimination quietly reinforce the notion that one gender holds greater value or entitlement than the other. While no explicit labels declare that certain tasks, privileges, or resources are reserved for a specific gender, societal norms dictate that men should manage finances, pursue careers, or be served food first, while women are expected to cook, clean, and sacrifice.
Astonishingly, in many families, even necessities such as food are distributed unequally. For instance, preferred food items, such as chicken breast pieces (known as Sean Adde in Kashmiri), are often prioritised for male members, while female members receive smaller or less desirable portions, such as necks or gizzards. These practices perpetuate the belief that men’s needs are paramount, embedding inequality from a young age. Such unwritten rules create an environment where gender roles and discrimination are normalised, leaving a profound emotional and psychological impact on women and girls.
From an early age, children observe and internalise behaviours that shape their understanding of gender roles and hierarchies. In many families, male children are granted greater preference, attention, resources, and opportunities than their female counterparts.
This disparity extends to gendered socialisation through toys and colours: boys are often given toys such as cars or tools, which encourage leadership and assertiveness, while girls are handed dolls, kitchen sets, or other soft toys that reinforce nurturing and domestic roles. Even colours are assigned gendered meanings—blue for boys and pink for girls. This conditioning continues as families guide boys towards careers associated with power and financial stability, while girls are steered towards roles deemed “suitable” and “safe.”
Gender-based violence (GBV) does not solely impact women; it also profoundly affects men, though this often goes unnoticed or unacknowledged. Men are frequently taught to suppress their emotions through phrases such as “Be strong,” “You are a man,” or “Men do not cry,” which can lead to mental health challenges like depression and anxiety.
Men, too, can be victims of domestic violence, sexual abuse, or emotional abuse, yet societal stigma discourages them from speaking out. Gendered phrases such as “You throw like a girl,” “Women belong to the kitchen,” “She’s too emotional,” “Women are bad drivers,” “Be a man,” “Boys don’t cry,” “Men are providers,” “Don’t be a sissy,” “She’s being dramatic,” “Women are bad at math,” or “Real men don’t ask for help” perpetuate harmful stereotypes that reinforce rigid gender roles and contribute to the cycle of violence.
To address GBV effectively, it is crucial to understand its origins and evolution. GBV stems from deeply rooted societal, cultural, and structural inequalities. It is perpetuated by power imbalances, stereotypes, discriminatory norms, and the process of socialisation, which reinforces these behaviours and attitudes over time. Socialisation plays a pivotal role in shaping perspectives.
From childhood, our ideologies, thinking, and personalities are moulded through this process, where we learn values, norms, behaviours, and the concepts of good and bad, right and wrong. Yet, how often are we taught about gender equality? How often are we encouraged to respect all human beings without judgment based on gender? Unfortunately, the process of socialisation rarely includes gender-sensitive issues, such as GBV or the consequences of gender discrimination. Children are often taught traditional gender roles with little emphasis on questioning these stereotypes or fostering respect and non-judgmental attitudes towards all genders.
The question remains: who is responsible for gender-based violence? Is it men, women, society, the legal system, or even the victims themselves? The answer lies in multiple layers of accountability, involving various stakeholders. Society at large plays a pivotal role in shaping beliefs and practices that often normalise or justify GBV. Media, entertainment, and educational systems also hold significant influence, as they can either reinforce harmful gender stereotypes or challenge them. What we see and consume shapes our perceptions, and these platforms bear a responsibility to foster awareness rather than perpetuate bias.
While not all men engage in GBV, many instances of violence, particularly physical and sexual abuse, are committed by men. However, this does not absolve women of responsibility. Women, too, can perpetuate GBV, though it is less commonly acknowledged. Both genders can be complicit in sustaining cycles of violence. Similarly, victims—or survivors—may inadvertently contribute to the persistence of GBV through silence, though they are never to blame for the violence they endure.
Fear of retaliation or societal judgment often silences them, enabling the cycle to continue. Society must empower survivors with the resources and support needed to safely report violence, seek help, and reclaim control over their lives.
The purpose of this article is to foster awareness about gender-based violence and encourage collective efforts toward change. Let us unite under the slogan: Equal Rights, Equal Respect.
Let us not wait for others to act but instead take responsibility at an individual level. Ultimately, we must ask ourselves: are we truly gender-sensitive in all aspects of our lives, or do blind spots still linger?
(The author is a social worker. Ideas are personal.)
