by Basit Nabi
Parents in Kashmir have regrettably reduced their aspirations to certain variables and throughout ages want to test child against them. We can’t blame parents for it. It is the outcome of a capitalist society.
“There is no failure except in no longer trying”
A few days back Jammu and Kashmir Board of School Education (JKBOSE) announced results and most of the students who had written their examinations emerged successful with flying colours. They got distinctions – even many more got 500 out of 500. Literally speaking, it needs burning of midnight oil to score 470 or above. Verily, it is not everyone’s cup of tea, all it needs dedication, hard work and consistency.
We should not neglect the hardships, problems relating to study material, internet connectivity that most of the students faced. We should not deny the fact that the whole of Kashmir was from August 2019, sometimes because of the abrogation of article 370 and sometimes pandemic.
Lakhs of students appear in this examination but not everyone gets the best of it. Always, there are students who are not able to compete with the students who got 90%. It breaks their heart. Many parents scold their glowing buds for not clearing the examination, many and times they compared their children with those who got 490 out of 500. This comparison made by parents makes them insecure, vulnerable and moreover affects them mentally as well as emotionally.
Parents should understand that this type of failure is not an end; rather they can do much better than this in life. We shouldn’t forget that on this earth, there are many great personalities who failed in their examinations but at the end of the day created milestones and legacies. They did their best in their lives which most of us can’t dream of.
During a Harvard commencement speech, Harry Potter author J K Rowling outlined the importance and value of failure. Why? Simply because she was once a failure too
A few short years after her graduation from college, her worst nightmares were realized. In her words, “I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.”
How we can deny the fact that Albert Einstein too faced failure in his life. Yet it is a fact that the pioneer of the theory General Relativity, Albert Einstein could not speak fluently until the age of nine. His rebellious nature led to his expulsion from school, and he was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. But all his earlier setbacks did not stop him from having the Nobel Prize in physics in 1921 and ultimately he revolutionized the whole physics. It is all because he believed that “success is a failure in progress”.
Jack Ma, one of the richest man in the world, founder of Alibaba, one of the biggest e-commerce company on this planet, failed in primary school and middle school three times. He also failed his university entrance exam three times. He was rejected by the police force and even KFC. He applied for Harvard ten times but was rejected each and every time.
Charles Darwin’s life was once considered a major failure by his own father. His parents were forcing him to study medicine but at the same time they failed to recognise Darwin’s interest – his interest area was Nature rather than medical. In 1827, he was dropped out and quit the school (University of Edinburgh) leading his father to say, “You care for nothing but shooting, dogs and rat-catching.” Of course, things didn’t remain that way for Darwin. Today, he is considered one of the most influential scientific minds of our time. His theories on natural selection and evolution have had a major impact on our understanding of species and life on earth, along with the progress of biological organisms.
Sir Allama Iqbal about whom it is said the Muslim world couldn’t produce any philosopher after he failed in assistant commissioner examination because of eye disease. He completed PhD from Munich University. He started his PhD in June 1907 and completed in November 1907 on his bachelor’s thesis Development Of Metaphysics in Muslim Persia.
Sadat Hasan Manto, Sir Syed Ahmed Khan (Founder of AMU), Charlie Chaplin (king of comedy), Thomas Edison (American inventor), Walt Disney (pioneer of cartoon films, including Mickey Mouse, and as the creator of the amusement parks Disneyland and Disney World), Abraham Lincoln (US President), Stephen Hawking (Theological Physicist) and many others faced troubles and sufferings in their lifetime but at the end of the day, all these personalities emerged victorious in their respective fields and then created history and wrote their names with golden letters.
What is the moral of these stories? The potential and calibre of a child is not always gauged mechanically and within the matrix of competitive examinations but they are stimulated, channelled in their right maturation period.
Parents in Kashmir have regrettably reduced their aspirations to certain variables and throughout ages want to test child against them. We can’t blame parents for it. It is the outcome of a capitalist society. Know professions like doctor, engineer, civil servant etc., are pursued exhaustively leaving other domains unexplored. We need good writers who can make us smile, we need archaeologists who can acquaint us with the better past and we need geologists who will think about our safety.
Indeed, the medical domain is good but what if a child wants to be an influential entrepreneur, a critique of western hegemony, a political scientist, a philosopher.
Every society’s aesthetic domain is sustained by artists and to create an artist, we have to create freedom of thought, freedom to bloom. Parents have a role to play in making our society better and save the young from the malaise of depression and suicide.
Parents should try to understand the area for their children’s interest in which their kids could give their best, in which they would find a passion to follow, a satisfactory life to live.
In order to have successfully brought up and well-educated children in one family, parents are crucial and they must be careful to some elements which play a key role in raising, bringing up and educating their children.
Firstly, while the parent’s principal role in the family is the education and the bringing up of their children, then the main obligation of their children is to study harder and properly. For this aim, they need to be well instructed on how to study, based upon rules and principles of appropriate learning and studying. This approach would open to them the doors of the world of a behaviourist attitude towards the work, making it possible for them to get to know better the relevance of working as one of the main behaviourist elements of humankind.
Secondly, the development of the child is in fact an overall child’s personality formation. The parents as educators must be able to recognize the basic features of their child, interests, temperament and especially the child’s emotional features regarding the child’s character.
Thirdly, the child’s personality formation has resulted to be constructed mostly based upon a child’s socialization in general. The socialization process as such, for sure nowadays represents the most important one of all other processes involved in his formation as a child. Thus, the child commences to socialize within a given society since the early stage of his/her childhood at parents’ home, circled by the parental atmosphere and the relationship between family members in general.
In this entourage, the child makes the first steps in the society, manifesting the basic features of behaviour, which as such are the fundaments of further social development and integration of the child in a given society.
(The author is pursuing BA Hons in Political Science at the Aligarah Muslim University. The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author’s and do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of Kashmir Life.)