by Aqib Rehman, Rohi Jan
It is essential for Kashmiri society, like many others, to move beyond outdated charity and medical models of disability and embrace the social model.
As the world observes International Disability Day on 3 December, the spotlight falls on the triumphs and tribulations of individuals with disabilities. This year’s theme underscores the pivotal role people with disabilities play in shaping policies, highlighting their leadership. However, in Kashmir, finding leaders within the disabled community proves challenging, largely due to the formidable social barriers parents of children with disabilities encounter.
The birth of a child with a disability often catches families off guard, leaving them reeling in shock. Regrettably, the initial response frequently involves blaming the mother, with relatives and others uttering phrases like Imtihan (examination), Musibat (trouble), and Moat (death). These words, laden with grief and despair, are not only spoken at birth but also resonate throughout the child’s upbringing. Societal attitudes often perpetuate stereotypes, with some suggesting that parents of children with disabilities must have erred in some way, inviting divine retribution. This pervasive and troubling mindset underscores the profound challenges faced by parents and their children.
Kashmiri society is one of the few in the world that predominantly adheres to the charity and medical-religious models of disability. These models frame disability in a decidedly negative context, placing the burden squarely on the individual and their parents. Crucially, they fail to acknowledge or address the social barriers created by society, which perpetuate discrimination and exclusion.
The consequences of these outdated perceptions are far-reaching. Parents of children with disabilities bear the brunt, struggling to convince society, and particularly schools, to allow their children access to formal education. This often leads to disappointment, as highlighted by UNESCO in its 2019 report. The report revealed that over 25 per cent of children with disabilities never attend school in India—a figure that increases with age. Furthermore, parents face additional distress due to unsupportive relatives who criticize their efforts, deeming the investment of time and money in the education of such children as futile.
While most parents of children with disabilities struggle to enrol them in mainstream schools, those in Kashmir who succeed often face additional challenges. Once these children receive an education, the same relatives who initially criticized the decision to educate them return with fresh negativity, now questioning their ability to secure a job. Relatives would say that despite having an education, children with disabilities would struggle to find employment. Such discouraging remarks come not only from uneducated individuals but also from those who have attained higher levels of education, revealing the deep-rooted biases present across all sections of society.
Parents of children with disabilities in Kashmir face significant hurdles when arranging their marriage, with societal attitudes and relatives’ behaviours often exacerbating the challenge. The perception of disability in Kashmiri society is rooted in stigma and prejudice, creating numerous barriers for these parents.
Relatives and community members frequently make discouraging remarks, questioning the feasibility and worth of marrying off a child with a disability. These comments not only cause hurt to the parents but also erode the confidence of the disabled individual, making the process even more daunting. Relatives may say that a person with a disability is unsuitable for marriage or will be unable to fulfil marital responsibilities. Such remarks perpetuate negative stereotypes, discouraging potential matches and reinforcing the notion that disability is an insurmountable limitation.
Even well-educated relatives, who might be expected to hold more progressive views, often share these biased opinions, further isolating the family. This lack of understanding and support from their social circle intensifies the emotional and financial strain on parents, who are already burdened with societal pressures. Despite these obstacles, some parents persist, driven by their conviction that their children have the right to a fulfilling life, including marriage.
Parents of disabled girls in Kashmir face a unique set of challenges, rooted in cultural biases that intertwine disability and gender discrimination. From a young age, these parents encounter resistance when trying to secure education for their daughters. Schools often hesitate to admit disabled girls, citing a lack of resources or accessibility. This forces parents to advocate relentlessly for their child’s right to learn, fighting both systemic barriers and societal stigma.
Even when access to education is achieved, the journey remains fraught with challenges. Inadequate teaching methods, inaccessible infrastructure, and pervasive discrimination all hinder the educational progress of disabled girls. Relatives and community members often question the value of educating a disabled girl, dismissing it as a wasted effort. They would say that investing time and resources in educating such a child is futile. These attitudes deepen the parents’ struggle, isolating them emotionally and undermining their efforts.
As disabled girls grow older, their education is often overshadowed by societal concerns about marriage. Relatives frequently reinforce the belief that a disabled girl is unfit for marriage, questioning her ability to fulfil traditional roles. Parents face not only the task of securing their daughter’s education but also the overwhelming challenge of ensuring her future is met with dignity and respect, all while battling relentless societal judgment.
Parents of disabled children in Kashmir often embark on a lifelong struggle, beginning from the moment their child is born. They grapple not only with internal challenges, such as emotional and financial pressures but also with relentless external judgments from relatives and society. Traditional attitudes rooted in stigma and stereotypes further compound their struggles, as parents are subjected to criticism and unsolicited remarks that question their every effort.
These efforts include educating their child, securing their future, and even ensuring their basic dignity. Societal barriers add unnecessary burdens to families already striving to provide for their children against the odds. It is essential for Kashmiri society, like many others, to move beyond outdated charity and medical models of disability and embrace the social model. This paradigm shift recognizes that disability is often a result of societal barriers rather than individual limitations.
By adopting this approach, the community can foster greater inclusion, empathy, and support, ultimately alleviating much of the hardship faced by these families. A shift in mindset is crucial to creating a society where parents and their children with disabilities can live without judgment and with the opportunities and respect they deserve.
(Aqib Rehman is a postgraduate student in Human Rights and Diplomacy at the University of Stirling, UK. Rohi Jan is a research scholar at Jawaharlal Nehru University, New Delhi. The views expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect their institutions.)
