by Azra Hussain
The least we can do is approach any child bully with compassion and an open mind. Instead of berating and punishing these children, we can counsel them on their behaviour and on how to cope with negative emotions.
Children are mean. More often than not, kids tend to say out-of-pocket or insulting things without understanding the gravity of their words; they lack the contextual understanding of social interaction and appropriate behaviour. They can say things like “she is so fat,” or “he is so ugly,” without realising it can hurt people. Adults are primed on socialisation; they know how to flatter and how to hold their tongues. Children are, in a way, brutally honest about their thoughts.
What if, however, despite becoming aware of what is good and what is bad, some children continue to behave in a way that hurts other people? Bullying is an extremely common phenomenon that affects millions of children each year, and psychologists have a lot of plausible theories as to why it happens.
Children exhibiting bullying behaviour often have a complex psychological topography, and it is hard to pinpoint what exactly leads to them acting in this particular way. After all, it isn’t as if psychologists and neuroscientists can isolate a few millimetres of brain matter and say, “This is what makes someone a bully.” Bullying, just like the perpetrators, is a difficult-to-understand subject due to many factors leading to it happening. Despite this, there is one very common and significant factor present in a lot of these cases: Abuse.
Child abuse
In India, home to 19 per cent of the world’s children, it is estimated that every second child experiences some form of physical or sexual abuse. The Indian National Crimes Records Bureau (NCRB) reports a child is sexually abused every 15 min and the estimates vary between 4 per cent –66 per cent for females and 4 per cent –57 per cent for males. It is to be noted that these statistics are likely inaccurate due to the stigmatisation of sexual abuse which makes children and families less likely to report any offences.
There could be several reasons for this, the most notable being economic instability, familial conflict, war or civil unrest, discrimination, and even urbanisation. Child abuse often happens in what psychologists describe as a ‘cluster,’ that is, no one form of abuse happens in isolation. Many forms of abuse coincide and overlap, not just on a familial level but a societal level. Felliti’s Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) model depicts the nebulous extension of abuse existing in cultures rather than families.
Multiple studies, often strangely contradictory yet understandable, shed light on the importance of economic status in influencing abuse statistics. Despite the population of deprived areas in India being only 22 per cent, one in every six Indians live in a slum. A strong association has been reported between child abuse and the economic conditions of a family – the greater the economic hardship, the greater the risk of abuse. The opposite is, however, also possible: a study showed that high-income parents having higher expectations for their children can increase the risk of abuse substantially.
Consequences
Child abuse, especially if prolonged, is known to have severely negative effects on not only the child’s mental state but also on their brain. Studies show that children who experience prolonged child abuse have relatively smaller hippocampi (important in learning and memory), a reduced cerebellum (responsible for motor skills and coordination), and overactive amygdalas (used to process emotions and react to potentially threatening situations).
Children going through abuse may have problems regulating their emotions, low self-esteem, learning deficits, and a tendency to repeat the behaviour they have learnt at home or from an authority figure. Children may become unstable, likely to develop mental illnesses and engage in reckless behaviour. They may find social situations challenging, and be unable to cooperate with peers or listen to teachers.
So, how do we deal with these children? We can’t change their home lives any more than talking to their parents, and we can only reassure them so much when they know they have to return to the same people who mistreat them. The least we can do is approach any child bully with compassion and an open mind. Instead of berating and punishing these children, we can counsel them on their behaviour and on how to cope with negative emotions. No child is “evil” or “sadistic.” Some are just disadvantaged.