It is easy to succumb during adversity; it is equally difficult to face it, especially when you are a woman. Hamidullah Dar reports the story of a woman whose grit and determination rescued her family that had decided to collectively commit suicide.
Aisha Bano, 35, and her husband Shafiq Ahmad Beig had little idea that the money they were investing in spreading the light of computer literacy in Kupwara will prove a dark patch of depression for their family. Armed with the money that Shafiq earned while comparing for BBC World Service programs in Mumbai, the couple opened a branch of NIIT in Kupwara in 2002. But the investment soon proved to be a wrong one.
“First year went by nicely as the response from students was quite gratifying. However, things took a nasty turn next year in 2003 when we received very few applications for the courses we offered,” recalls Aisha.
Having pumped Rs 35 Lakh in establishing the institute, the couple started losing money with every passing year due to the lack of interest among the students as other institutes offered courses at a cheaper cost. “We soon realised that our investment is a big failure. We took loans worth Rs two lakhs through Industries department and Rs 12 lakhs from Cooperative Bank to revive our institute, but the decline could not be arrested,” says Aisha, caressing her three month son Muheet.
Shafiq, meanwhile, was in a depressed state of mind. The losses that continued after the loans were acquired reinforced Shafiq’s depression. Aisha was left to endure the burden of looking after the crashing business and also earn to run the family. A commerce graduate from Agra University, Aisha started desktop printing and other small time jobs to feed the family of four (five now).
“The social welfare department also proved an activator of ruin for our institute. We used to train 100 Scheduled Tribe students for which the department would pay Rs six lakhs. However after 2006, they stopped paying us money despite ST students getting training in our institute. They owe us about 12 lakh rupees which if paid could mitigate much of our pain,” says Aisha with a little groan of dismay.
While Shafiq was in depression, Aisha was finding it hard to manage the state of affairs. “One day we even decided to commit collective suicide but then I thought it will be an act of cowardice. I decided not to surrender to the hardships and started working things out,” she says.
Aisha tried many things. “I introduced new short term courses and also started documentation work. Soon the courses also vanished for want of students and I had to confine my activities to documentation. I come to office at 7:00 a.m. and leave for home at around 6:00 p.m. My two daughters (aged 5 and 3 years) remain at home,” says Aisha.
As if the losses in business were not enough to test her courage, Aisha’s husband was critically injured on October 17, 2008 in an accident following which he fell into a comma. “He was already suffering from depression and the new tragedy left us in despair. After remaining in comma for four months, doctors at SKIMS told me to take Shafiq home as it would take him at least three years to recover, that too partially,” continues Aisha. With Shafiq bed ridden for the last eleven months, Aisha takes Muheet along to her office.
“I do not believe in meek surrender. Although the burden I am shouldering is huge; huge enough to make steel-willed persons crumble under its weight, I still manage to keep my boat sailing. When I look around myself, I do not see any end to my gloom. However, when I lift my gaze upwards for dua (pleas), I feel more determined to continue fighting,” says Aisha. And it is this quality that makes women like Aisha different from the rest.
