With extravagant ceremonies, themed attire, choreographed dances, and cinematic décor, Kashmir’s wedding traditions are shifting away from native culture. Influenced by media and social trends, these fat, mad ceremonies raise questions about the fading essence of tradition and faith in the era of the internet, Babra Wani reports
A gentle breeze carried the delicate fragrance of white roses, and a small gathering sat on elegant chairs placed along the banks of Dal Lake. The setup reflected a harmonious blend of modern elegance and charm, with pastel hues seamlessly merging into the warm glow of a Sunday afternoon.
The groom, dressed in a crisp white kurta and a sleek black waistcoat, exuded calm composure as he sat gracefully on an ornate white and gold wedding stool. His gaze softened as his eyes caught sight of the bride. She appeared, radiant in a pastel white gown, its intricate embroidery shimmering subtly. She slowly approached the podium, draped in soft white fur and adorned with delicate floral arrangements. Four young men accompanied her, each holding an embroidered scarf that formed a delicate canopy above her.
The bride sat opposite the groom, separated by a floral curtain, as the Nikahkhwan began reciting verses from the Holy Quran in a solemn and measured voice. A brief pause followed, allowing the cameras to find the perfect angle to capture the moment. As the air filled with the sound of wedding vows, the couple sat quietly, before finally replying Qubool hai to one another. It was the point when a high-end cracker boomed from the lake like a scud missile and blasted with a huge bang midair creating a fascinating hue of colours.
The scenes were neither a Bollywood film nor a Pakistani soup, but rather from a wedding ceremony in Kashmir—a brief video which has captured millions of viewers across social media. Its location was better than the alluring reel locations that the entertainment industry offers on either side of the Redcliff divide. It was on the banks of Dal Lake, Kashmir’s prized spot that has been alluring visitors for centuries regardless of the peculiar stink in its depths and waters.
The one-minute reel on Instagram has already attracted 29 million views, drawing mixed reactions. “Bro watched too much Pakistani drama,” one user commented, with an eye-roll emoji. Another simply wrote, “Astaghfirullah,” while a third said, “Acting hai,” followed by a laughing emoji. Some responses were light-hearted: “I hate dramas” with an angry emoji, and another noted dryly, “Nikah (cross emoji) new way of showing off (tick emoji).” A curious observer asked, “Which drama serial is this? You people are copying Pakistan too.”
The comments section was lively, with some criticising the wedding setup, while others showered blessings on the couple. The drama apart, it was one of the rare nikkah that was not solemnised waqalatan, a pledge that the groom and bride convey through their blood relations without participating in the event directly.
Yet these visuals reflect only the surface of a broader trend. Nowadays, elaborate canopies, coordinated themes, rich colours, and ornate décor define weddings that dazzle guests and linger in memory. Such scenes increasingly capture the public eye, leaving attendees, if only briefly, spellbound.
The Extravagance
“I attended a wedding here in Humhama, and they had ceremonies like dholki and haldi—the kind of things you usually only see in dramas and movies,” said Zikra, a resident. “These kinds of events are mostly seen in elite weddings. Now, there are dress themes, dress codes, pre-bridal showers, Team Bride and Team Groom—all of it is different from traditional Kashmiri customs.”
Photograph: Special arrangement
Zikra described another wedding she attended this summer, where the hosts had replaced the traditional traami dining style with individual plates. “That was the family’s personal choice, of course,” she said. “But honestly, I felt the Kashmir of weddings was fading because of these new customs and the influence of media on marriage ceremonies. It just does not feel Kashmiri anymore.”
Reflecting on her own cousin’s wedding in September, Zikra added, “We were all asked to apply mehndi—the cousins and friends of the bride. My cousin even showed me a scene from a popular Pakistani drama and said, ‘Let’s do this.’ We ended up writing Team Bride on our hands in Mehndi. It looked beautiful, but the bride had her whole look planned out from a drama she had seen on the other side of the Line of Control. She even chose a sharara over the traditional lehenga because of it.”
Besides, Zikra observed that weddings are increasingly elaborate and costly. “I have attended weddings where the venues look luxurious and the atmosphere unmistakably extravagant. They have wedding planners, and full-fledged teams handling everything—the decor, the themes. We just tell them what we want,” she said. “According to the theme, there is music, performances, and parties. It is a whole different world.”
High Decibel Music
This year, Ufaq, a resident of Srinagar’s Shehr-e-Khas attended more than ten wedding ceremonies. She felt mind-blown over the new wave sweeping Kashmiri weddings. “Jazz parties, dance performances, and live bands have become the norm,” she said. “The traditional wanwun has given way to contemporary music requests.” She recounted a recent wedding where a band played the title track of the popular Pakistani drama Ishq Murshid on demand. “It is as though the entire atmosphere has shifted. Kashmiri customs, where women would sing and perform the roff, feel increasingly rare.”
Ufaq noted that themes now extend beyond music. “Not only the bride, but the bridesmaids and family members dress according to specific themes. Cakes are ordered, often extravagant and meticulously styled, tailored to match these themes,” she said, highlighting a trend of “grand and lavish salami”—locally known as wartaaw—which reflects the new emphasis on opulence.
For many Kashmiri singers, these changes have brought unexpected challenges. “Requests for Pakistani Urdu songs are common, sometimes completely unfamiliar ones,” said a wedding singer. “We often ask for time to prepare them, as many are ghazals or songs we are not familiar with. Occasionally, we are asked to create a more mehfil-like atmosphere,” he added, referring to a formal, traditional gathering style.
Regardless of the choices of the numbers the singers are tasked to sing, the families ensure they have a strong loud-speaker system to ensure that nobody sleeps. “This year, in my locality, I can tell you, there was one good neighbour, who switched off the mics at around 12,” one resident of upmarket Pir Bagh said. “Barring this gentleman almost every family ensured that nobody sleeps. I do not know how these marriages succeed despite the curses they invite at the very start.” He said his blood pressure peaked especially when the women and the singers started singing in Urdu. “I thought Urdu would die tonight.”
Extra Extravagance
Zikra, reflecting on the shift, pointed out that the transformation goes beyond the events themselves. “It is not just about the number of ceremonies,” she lamented. “Now, we see extravagance in everything from the invitation cards to the procession of the bride. Today, brides often enter under a canopy held by cousins and brothers—a scene once reserved for dramas, now becoming a standard in local weddings.”
Wardah, a resident of Baghimehtab, recounted her brother’s recent wedding to a non-Muslim bride, an event that took on more of an English style. “The bride’s family was from outside India and unfamiliar with Kashmiri customs, so we hired wedding planners to bridge the gap,” she explained, adding that the aim was to balance cultural representation and comfort. “Our theme was a blend of South Asian and English elements. We wanted the events to be unforgettable.”
For Wardah, this meant months of planning. “We spent about three months finalising the themes, attire, and details. The bride’s dress, a rust-coloured lehanga with traditional touches, was custom-made by a designer in Pakistan. Our outfits came from Dubai to complement the bridal look. Every element was selected to enhance the beauty of the occasion.”
A growing trend has taken hold in Kashmiri weddings, increasingly mirroring the style and aesthetics of Pakistani ceremonies, noted a social scholar.
“It is a form of gratification—people seek to emulate elements from other cultures, especially from across the border,” a scholar observed. Pakistani television dramas, he said, have significantly impacted Kashmiri weddings, influencing the style, traditions, decor, and general tone. “Today, the attire worn by brides and grooms reflects the intricate and costly designs seen in these dramas. Kashmiri brides frequently choose Pakistani-inspired lehengas, gowns, and traditional jewellery. Pre-wedding ceremonies, such as the Haldi and Mayoon (a Pakistani pre-wedding custom, during which the bride often goes into a 7 to 15-day seclusion before the wedding), have also evolved, now marked by floral jewellery, vibrant decor, and choreographed family dances—features that were rare in previous Kashmiri weddings.”
Capturing The Moment
The “cinematic decor” from dramas, including floral arrangements, fairy lights, and themed settings, according to a sociology scholar has led families to select larger, more filmic and unreal venues. “Music and dance routines, often influenced by Pakistani soundtracks, have become deeply embedded, with families now performing choreographed dances at gatherings,” he said. Wedding photography, too, has transformed, with couples requesting “cinematic, drama-style cinematography to capture emotional moments.” According to him, viewing wedding videos on social media reveals the extent to which these styles have permeated Kashmiri weddings.
“Pakistani dramas have introduced a sense of grandeur and cinematic appeal to these celebrations,” he asserted. “They have persuaded families to embrace a more lavish, celebratory approach inspired by popular on-screen traditions.” To create this cinematic feel, photographers are increasingly using techniques like soft lighting, sepia tones, and editing that evoke the romantic aesthetic of a drama. This approach has redefined wedding photography in Kashmir, making it a polished and visually captivating part of the festivities, he said, noting that this trend shows no signs of fading.
Over the years, the wedding photography sector has expanded so huge that a good number of students who moved out from universities and colleges have adopted it as a profession. “This is safe, better paying and lucrative,” admitted one wedding photographer. “We work for a few days and it gets your income of a month and eventually your output helps you manage the newer clientele.” The sector is so alluring that some social media influencers have thrown their hat into the ring.
Of late, a new small economy has come to Kashmir. Wedding managers in the West, communicate the raw footage of the wedding ceremonies for editing. “Quite a few people are working in this niche area but working they are,” a market insider said. “Now they pick the new trends in Western marriages that could have local takers. Soon we may have new additions to the native weddings.”
The Fashion
Social media has had a profound impact on Kashmiri wedding fashion, with many people closely following the trends, particularly those set by celebrities. Sajida Nain, who owns a fashion store and label, observed that Kashmiri brides are increasingly drawn to Pakistani wedding attire.
“Women here feel an affinity with Pakistani culture, especially in terms of wedding day fashion,” she said, adding that many brides approach her with specific styles or colour combinations inspired by celebrities from India and Pakistan. While she prefers not to replicate designs exactly, Nain works to understand each client’s vision. “If they bring a photo, we try to create a piece along similar lines, respecting the customer’s preferences.”
A menswear designer echoed similar sentiments, noting that grooms often seek attire inspired by Pakistani styles. “Many grooms come to us wanting outfits they have seen across the border,” he said. The popularity of Pakistani television dramas, especially recent hits like Ishq Murshid and Mere Humsafar, has intensified this trend. “Everyone wants to look like Bilal Abbas or Wahaj Ali,” he added. Even footwear choices have shifted, with clients often requesting Pakistani styles. “They watch these dramas and want the same outfits. We now have several shops here selling Pakistani attire, and many also travel to Delhi to shop.”
The influence extends beyond attire to make-up, according to Kashmiri make-up artist Suzain Noor. “Every aspect is touched by this trend, from outfits to decor, even the venue itself,” she observed. In make-up, the “Pakistani look” has gained prominence. “Right now, the most popular trend is shimmery eyes, inspired by Pakistani weddings and dramas,” she said. For Kashmiri brides, this aesthetic has become a defining choice, shaping an entire look that draws from a cultural connection across the border.
Another make-up artist, Aqsa Rashid, explained how Kashmiri brides increasingly aspire to resemble foreign brides, particularly those seen in Pakistani dramas. “Whenever I arrive at a wedding venue to start make-up, I ask the bride about the look she wants,” she said, adding that most often, they show her a picture of a Pakistani bride. “Kashmiri brides are captivated by how Pakistani brides look.”
Rashid noted that this fascination extends beyond dramas; brides are keenly interested in the looks portrayed by actresses on screen. She recalled a recent bride who had booked her for all pre-wedding and post-wedding events. “When I arrived, I noticed the wall decor that read Haldi. Traditionally, Kashmiris do not celebrate haldi ceremonies, but the trend has started to reshape our customs,” she remarked.
Nowadays, brides favour haldi rituals, wearing yellow outfits and floral gajra while bringing in concepts like bridesmaids—elements borrowed from foreign customs. Rashid expressed concern for those who cannot afford these new trends. “While some celebrate these trends, I feel for the less fortunate Kashmiri brides who cannot manage the expense,” she reflected.
Echoing Rashid’s thoughts Suzain further explained how dramas influence the finer details, from make-up styles to how the dupatta is draped, all tailored to different occasions. “Requests for specific Pakistani-inspired hairstyles, lipstick shades, or attire are common,” she said. “Some brides even request a ‘no-make-up’ look. Floral gajra and kaleere, once rare in Kashmiri weddings, are now frequently requested, and some couples prefer an Asaalatan Nikkah with a light curtain separating the bride and groom.”
The Jewellery
A local jewellery shop owner echoed both Suzain and Rashid’s observations, noting a growing demand for floral jewellery. “Many brides ask specifically for floral jewellery for their haldi ceremony,” he said. “Some bring photos from dramas, wanting exact replicas of what celebrities wore.”
Zareen, a resident of Anantnag, shopping at the same jewellery store for her daughter’s wedding, shared her daughter’s preference for a Pakistani bridal look. “She ordered her bridal dress from Pakistan—a long skirt and kurta—and wants to pair it with floral jewellery,” Zareen said. “She was inspired by a drama called Bin Roye and wants the bridal look from that. It is her big day, so I am fulfilling her wishes.”
Although Zareen had envisioned her daughter in a suit with traditional gold jewellery, she accepted her daughter’s choice. “We both enjoy Pakistani dramas, so in a way, it makes sense.”
To ensure everything goes smoothly, Zareen has hired an event management company to oversee the wedding events.
Event Management
Adnan Mohammad Matoo and Basit Mushtaq, founders of Zool Productions, have been managing events since 2017 when they first introduced their event management firm to Kashmir. Initially, their clientele was limited to a few elite families, as the concept was relatively new in the region. But, as Adnan observed, times have changed.
“Weddings in Kashmir have become more theme-based,” he explained. “We handle everything from nikkahkhwaani to engagement parties, ring ceremonies, and walima. As wedding planners, our first task is to understand the client’s preferences: their tastes, requirements, and how they envision the event. From there, we design the occasion accordingly.” Some clients, he asserted even work from reference photos to capture specific details. “Ultimately, it is about what the bride wants.”
One memorable event, he recalled, involved a Kashmiri family based in the United Kingdom. “They requested a dholki ceremony setup for their daughter’s wedding. It is interesting how many new rituals have become popular—sometimes we need to research these ceremonies ourselves before planning anything.”
Adnan noted a shift in preferences over the years. Previously, Kashmiri families often looked to Pakistani wedding styles for inspiration. “That trend has faded,” he said. “Nowadays, it is more about English, Lebanese, or Turkish wedding setups. People are drawn to subtle themes, with pastel colours taking precedence. From 2019 to 2021, Pakistani wedding styles—with their vibrant colours—were in vogue. But people’s tastes have moved away from those louder colours toward whites, off-whites, and other understated shades.”
“Each bride has a unique vision,” Adnan continued, remarking on the detailed involvement many bring to planning their weddings. “We often have to work with specific dress codes or colour palettes for different days. It takes extensive discussion and brainstorming with the bride to get every detail right, especially for backdrops and decor.” His firm, which manages everything except catering, frequently collaborates with clients on designs. “Foreign influences are everywhere,” he reflected. “This is not just a recent trend—people have been drawn to other cultures long before the internet era.”
Adnan also noted the emergence of new ceremonies in Kashmiri weddings, especially concepts like the haldi and dholki. “In the past, these were not part of our traditions,” he said. “Now, haldi takes place during the day, followed by mehandi in the evening. There are also after-parties, bachelorette parties, and more. Another recent preference is for the Afghani majlis, an individual traami-style dining setup that we introduced during the COVID era. It has now become highly popular.”
The Internet Impact
These trends are being dictated by the access the people have to the content about life and style of other cultures. The democratisation that the internet offers to people in understanding other cultures is bringing the so-called conservative society much closer to the global village. “The new generation is watching Korean fiction and soon it will start showing up at a grand scale,” one journalist said. “It is a transition era and things are expected to be that way. The media focus on Ambani marriages has taken away the negativity from the ostentatious and extravagance of an event that traditionally has been simple. So it is going to get aggressive soon.”
Like many other places, Kashmir has seen a rise in the number of lavish, theme-based weddings influenced by media depictions and other cultures, admitted Dr Aijaz Bhat, Consultant Clinical Psychologist (GMHS) and Global MHPSS Expert. “From a psychological standpoint, there are several reasons for this change; first is social influence and comparison, as people frequently evaluate themselves against others. The desire to organize a special, unforgettable event may be great in a context like Kashmir, where family honour and cultural pride are highly valued.”
The psychologist further noted that the second reason is that families use the wedding as a chance to show off their social class and financial status, even going above and beyond customs. “A wedding is a public declaration of the family’s values and accomplishments in Kashmir, where ties to the community and family are highly prized.”
“Psychologically, people may perceive this as a chance to identify with a more expansive, and contemporary culture. Also, weddings are viewed by many as “once-in-a-lifetime” occasion,” he asserted. “There is a great desire to make them feel magical or dreamlike. This tendency toward themed, frequently exotic gatherings can serve as a means of escape from everyday life, allowing families to indulge in fairy tale imaginations.”
The doctor said it has a factor rooted in the contemporary consumer culture which promotes the notion that luxurious experiences lead to happiness or fulfilment. “Some people view weddings as a representation of their own and their families’ identities, and they may feel under pressure to “construct” a lavish occasion that fits their ideal selves.”
“We can say that social comparison, the need for social validation, cultural assimilation, and the influence of consumerism can all be considered as contributing factors to Kashmir’s trend for lavish, theme-based weddings from a psychological perspective.”
In an increasingly globalized society, all of these elements contribute to the need for events that are memorable, distinctive, and socially admired which reflect individual or family identity.
(Some names have been changed for privacy. Readers kindly note this report is about a small section of the society, mostly neo-riches. The majority of marriages remain unchanged.)
